On Vegetarianism (pt. 1).

I have been an omnivore most of my life.  I would say about 2 years ago I decided to become a pescatarian (the only meat I consumed was seafood) and about a year ago I decided to become a vegetarian.  I honestly see myself becoming a vegan at some point next year even.  I’m working on reducing the amount of dairy I consume (I like cream in my coffee and goddamnit cheese and yogurt are amazing).

Oftentimes I feel like Vegans and Veggies alike get a bad wrap.  You know that joke, “How do you know there’s a vegan at your party? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.” HAHAHAHAHA.  It’s true vegans and veggies are proud.  Why shouldn’t they be?  They’re helping animals and the environment.  I’ve always found it funny that if you find a meme or article on Facebook or something that mentions having a plant-based diet WITHOUT FAIL you will get a bunch of people bashing veganism or vegetarianism.  That’s why I find that joke funny.  I find it’s the other way around.  It’s usually a bunch of people giving YOU a hard time for YOUR choice to not consume meat. Yes, sometimes people who are passionate are in your face about it but really that post about the “Vegan Butcher Shop” isn’t for you fucking carnivores.  It’s for Vegans and Vegetarians and for people who are interested in making the switch to a more plant based diet.  I’m one of those people that isn’t terribly open about my vegetarianism. This post is the most open I’ve been about it.  Most of the time it only comes up when ordering food with people.  I am also one to not bash or disown people who want to eat meat.  If you want to eat meat fine, that’s your choice.  However, the one thing I wish is that everyone would just educate themselves on how their meat is produced and then decide whether they want to continue eating it.

The reason I decided to become a vegetarian was because I educated myself on the history of factory farming.  I watched documentaries on it.  I scoured the magical interwebs on articles for and against factory farming.  For a short while that consumed my life.  After watching those documentaries and reading those articles, I have decided that I cannot consume any meat.  I don’t think that I could physically put a burger in my mouth and eat it (I say I don’t think, because I haven’t tried but I don’t really want to).

I completely disagree with factory farming.  I would even go as far as to say that I would not necessarily be against humans consuming meat IF it could be guaranteed that the animal was raised in a healthy environment where it was able to live a good life and then was killed humanely.  In order to raise animals for consumption like that the animal needs to have A LOT of space and also be fed a proper diet.  However in order for that to happen… Americans need to eat LESS meat. They would also have to pay more for that quality meat. The demand for meat is so high that you cannot produce enough meat in those conditions, which is why factory farming exists.

Americans want to eat meat with practically every goddamn meal and they definitely want it cheap. Because of this companies needed to find a way to mass produce meat.  Thus the factory farm was born.  Factory farming is HORRIBLE and if you have ANY compassion for animals you would see that.  Factory Farming is the stuff that PETA shares (no I am not a member of PETA nor do I plan on becoming one.  I disagree with their tactics is all) and while I agree they can be aggressive it’s true.  Basically in order to yield the amount of meat that Americans demand each year we have to raise cattle/poultry/pork quickly and make them real fat.  In order to do this animals are forcibly inseminated to produce offspring which are then raised on these factory farms.  They are fed corn/grain because it is cheap and will fatten up cows and chickens and pigs quickly so they can be slaughtered.  The amount of people I tell this to that do not realize that COWS DO NOT EAT CORN is a little alarming.  Cows are supposed to eat GRASS but that won’t make them fat fast enough which is why they are fed corn on factory farms.  Same thing with pigs and chickens.  Chickens eat grass and bugs and pigs eat plants and vegetables (Although I think pigs are omnivores naturally consuming smaller animals, pet pigs are usually fed plants and fruits as a diet).  Let’s also not forget by feeding the animals this diet it’s easier to pump them full of hormones and antibiotics.

So, where are we?  Right we are forcing animals to have offspring and we are raising that offspring on factory farms where they are fed a shitty diet to make them fat faster.  Sometimes the chickens grow SO FAST (because everyone wants a really big chicken breast for dinner right!?) and their breasts grow so big because of the hormones they pump into them that the chickens actually can’t move.  Their legs will not support them so they can’t even move around.  They basically are immobile and sit around on the ground while waiting to die.  Oh and as a side note if you are a chick born in a hatchery at a dairy farm and you are born a boy chick you actually get thrown away.  Like tossed in a bag and thrown in the garbage because you can’t produce eggs.

Did that make you uncomfortable?  I hope so.  It made me uncomfortable the first time I was subjected to that.  There is so much more including deforestation and the destruction of our planet.  Because remember we need LAND to raise these animals and we also need land to grow the corn we force them to eat.  There is so much more about that but that will have to be for another time as there are other things I want to touch on.

So basically the quality of life of these animals is crappy.  All because most people need to eat meat for all 3 meals each day.  Not only that but the way they slaughter these animals is unacceptable.  They will throw a pig into a vat of boiling water while it’s half alive so that they can remove the hair easier.  The animal isn’t even dead when it’s put into boiling water.  Someone secretly filmed that and I had to see it with my own eyes.  Let’s get into meatpacking though.  Because not only are these animals treated poorly the people who are working in meatpacking plants are treated just as bad.  Many of these people are undocumented immigrants so they are constantly subjected to animal blood and guts and feces.  Often these workers get sick or injured on the job.  However they are undocumented so they cannot get treated.  The workers are provided housing… but there’s 20 people to a house with 2 rooms.  These meatpacking plants skirt by because they will let ICE come in and take some of the workers at their “homes” and deport them for being here illegally.  But it’s funny how the meatpacking plant itself isn’t raided.  You’d think that would be a jackpot right!?  Wrong, then the plant would shut down and Americans would have a meat shortage or something. [insert dollar signs here].

Just knowing that all of this goes into me being able to buy meat in bulk and for cheap is just not worth it.  Not only are these poor animals suffering the human beings that are working to package it so I can buy it… are treated just as poorly.  Is having hamburger for $2/lb really worth that?  I don’t think it is.  I haven’t eaten meat for about a year and I’m doing just fine.  There are even products that you can buy that will give you that familiar meat taste and texture as you are transitioning to a more plant-based diet.  Those things do not exist solely for vegetarians and vegans.  They exist so people can more easily transition their diet.  So my question is if there are good and delicious cruelty free alternatives out there, why not?  Why continue the suffering of animals and the poor treatment of meatpacking employees when you can get a “burger” made out of wheat and soy that tastes just as good?  I understand that NO ONE wants to be inconvenienced.  And removing a large staple, such as meat and animal products, from your diet is terribly inconvenient.  Just start by reducing the amount of meat you consume.  Instead of having meat for breakfast lunch and dinner, have it just for lunch and dinner.  Anything is a step in the right direction.

And again, I’m not here to tell you that you are a horrible person for consuming meat.  If you’ve read all this and seen those documentaries and are still okay with eating meat, then by all means, go right ahead.  However if you are interested in adopting a more plant-based diet I strongly suggest you watch the following documentaries: Cowspiracy, Forks Over Knives, Food Inc and Food Matters.  A couple of those are a little more about how a plant based diet can improve overall health as well.  If you are interested in trying meatless meats and cheeseless cheeses I also urge you to check out the Herbivorous Butcher.  They are based in Minneapolis so if you live where I do stop in to their shop. They also ship anywhere in the US so you can eat the amazing food they offer even if you are viewing my blog from 1000 miles away.  The meat and cheese alternatives that Herbivorous Butcher provides taste AMAZING and I feel the pricing is similar to what you would pay for “free range” or “organic grass-fed” meats.  I don’t feel it is expensive but if you are used to getting a lb of hamburger for $3, this would be more like $12 for a pound.  I go there once a week to pick up things for my meal prepping.  Check out: The Herbivorous Butcher Website.

Hopefully that was enlightening for most of you.  Or maybe you hate me.  Either way that’s up to you!

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That Fork In The Road.

I just realized something at my job today. I was having a conversation with a coworker and my boss was there too.  My coworker is probably going to another store to get some more learning experience so that she can move up in the company.  Pretty standard yea?  Well she’s moving to a store that will at some point have a position that is my job, but one step up.  We were talking about how that store is a lot different from ours.  There is SO MUCH STRUCTURE.  It is literally a no bullshit store.  So I jokingly said, “Yea when that Inventory Assistant Manager spot opens up, let me know!” Sounds like I’d be perfect for it right?  Wrong.  Then my freaking boss says, “Well if you want that, you know what you have to work on right?”  [Insert eye roll here.]

And that’s when I realized it.  I would never get that job.  Would you like to know why I wouldn’t get that job?  Because I’m not all sunshine and rainbows every day.  Because when the store is closed and fixtures fall on me and injure me or things are executed by corporate poorly I swear about it.  Because I refuse to drink that bullshit retail koolaid that all upper management drinks.  That’s why.

Earlier this year the state changed the laws and rules about renewing your cosmetology license. Now you are no longer required to actually work in the field, you just need to take continuing education hours (2 – 4 hour classes every 3 years) to be eligible to renew your license.  So now that I don’t HAVE to work as a waxer or a stylist I can consider other options without letting my cosmo license go to waste.  I had briefly considered throwing all my eggs in the full-time job basket.

BUT that is the fucked up part about it.  It doesn’t matter that I’m the best and most seasoned Inventory Manager in the district.  It doesn’t matter that I’ve been doing this for the last 11 years of my life at both this job and my previous one. Because I won’t conform, I’m ineligible.  My boss would never sign off on me being Inventory Assistant Manager.  I jokingly asked another manager today if she thought our boss would make her Inventory Manager when I quit and if she’d be mad at me if I did that to her.  She told me that she didn’t know and that I’m not allowed to quit because I’m the best at my job.  I appreciated the compliment (as you know I rarely get compliments at my job since I just sit in the back all day).  However at the end of the day what am I supposed to do?  Where do I go next?

I don’t think I can stay where I’m at.  I never really wanted to leave until recently, maybe the last couple years.  There is no structure at our store and it kills me.  Our associates don’t even like their jobs.  I mean half the time when you tell them to assist a customer they get upset about it.  They give you an, “oh, I guess I can help them.”  GUESS WHAT!? THAT IS WHAT WE PAY YOU TO DO, SO FUCKING DO IT!  If you don’t want to help ungrateful customers, I get it.  That also means you need to find another job then. There are aspects of my “glorious” job in the back that I don’t like to do but I still do them because that is what I am PAID to DO.  It’s really starting to wear on me.  What is the point in staying with a company if there are zero opportunities for advancement unless you change who you are as a person?  Unlike Sisyphus, I will NOT be bound to this hell.  Newsflash, I’ve been this way for too long.  I’m in my early thirties, no changing this bitch.  Nor should I have to.

I already feel isolated because I’m in the back all the time (which, don’t get me wrong I love it) but I also don’t feel like I’m a manager.  I’m not on the floor with most of the associates so they don’t even see me as a leader.  Most of them sure as hell don’t treat me as a leader.  I feel like the only loyalty I see is from my team, most of whom only work 1 day a week during our weekly shipment.  I definitely don’t see any loyalty from Ms. Millennial and she’s with me most of the other time I’m here so. *sigh*

The store runs contests and stuff.  But it’s all focused around selling on the salesfloor.  My team never actually sees any customers so even though they “put us on a team” even if your team “wins” you don’t get anything unless you get a call out in our online survey.  None of us ever help customers so we never get a call out.  Therefore we are on a winning team but win nothing.  I get it.  It makes sense that you only get something if you are on the winning team and have someone mention you.  BUT if that’s the case, take us off the fucking team.  It’s damn near insulting at this point.  It sucks because regardless of what anyone says if it wasn’t for us keeping that floor stocked and cleaned and fixing all the broken shit, you probably wouldn’t get many call outs because all of the shit would still be in boxes or just sitting in the back unorganized.

Alas, I’m not bitter, I’m really not.  I don’t need incentives to do my job like the rest of our associates do but what I’m getting at is that we are slowly disappearing because no one really sees what we do.  They don’t know how much sweat goes in to putting away 100+ boxes filled with product every week.  Like, literal sweat because we have to do it when there is no A/C in the store so it’s fucking sweltering in there.  Every now and then boss will put up a sign that says some shit like, “THANKS INVENTORY TEAM FOR ALL THAT YOU DO!” or she’ll order us pizza or throw some candy on the table for us to get a sugar high on to make it through the night.

The hard truth is that I don’t know what she could do to make us feel more appreciated. How do you make a team feel appreciated when they aren’t part of the “daily team?”  When a whole group of employees is pretty much isolated and nothing they do involves physically helping customers how do you make them feel appreciated?  When their work doesn’t directly affect your selling numbers (even though it does affect that, you just can’t measure it because we aren’t physically selling it) how do you let them know they’re doing a great job?  Especially if that team doesn’t give a shit that you TELL them they’re doing great?  Seriously, we don’t need a pat on the back because we aren’t millennials that need a fucking participation trophy.  We KNOW that we do a good job (because I tell them that.  The person that actually SEES THEM do the work, not the person that comes in afterwards the next morning).  But what do you do to make their hard work feel appreciated?  I really don’t know.

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Millennials.

It always amazes me, the amount of laziness I see from “millennials.”  Sadly, I am lumped in under this Millennial category due to being born in the mid 80’s.  I believe that Millennials are categorized as those coming into adulthood in the early 2000’s.  So Kiddos born from 1982- 1995ish or so.  There are varying numbers/years floating around for those considered Millennials.  However, the Millennials that were born in… oh I would say around 1987 to 1995 are those that are most “at risk” to be that annoying entitled Millennial.  I’m going to make this a bit into a personal rant so, bear with me. I might go off on tangents and it just won’t be as structured as my other posts.

There is one Millennial in particular that I know.  Let’s talk about her.  Now one of the major elements of being one of “Those Millennials” is having a ridiculous sense of entitlement.  Don’t get me wrong, I can usually get what I want however I do not expect it to be handed to me on a silver fucking platter.  I was raised with the expectation that if you want something you find a way to get it.  You earn it.  I wanted money to buy stupid shit at Spencer’s and Hot Topic as a kid (yea, fuck you I was a middle schooler in 1997) so I had to find a way to get that money.  So I babysat.  I did extra things around the house for a $5 bill.  When I was 16 I wanted money to buy clothes all the time.  So I got a part-time JOB.  Even now, I don’t blame my parents for “blowing up the deficit.”  I want to cover my body in tattoos and buy frivolous things sometimes… so I work 2 jobs because I like money and have bills to pay.  Instead of blaming others for my college debt, I prefer to just pay it.  It sucks but I have to do it.

I didn’t go around stealing and I sure as hell didn’t expect mom and dad to just buy me shit.  Okay so back to the sense of entitlement that Millennials feel.  Okay take this girl. Ms. Millennial.  She is 20.  She is supposed to be my “right hand woman” at work.  I would rather do everything myself.  So, as far as the sense of entitlement goes she kept telling EVERYONE “Oh, well I was hoping for a leadership position.”  Okay, newsflash, there isn’t one open.  One of my other manager coworkers said that to her as well.  She specifically said, “There aren’t any lead positions open.  Meesa isn’t going anywhere either so…”  She also is in school so she can’t be a lead if she can’t work FULL TIME. Now, being the curious person that I am when she mentioned this to me I asked her, “Okay, well you want to be in Leadership.  What kind of managerial experience do you have?” Her actual response, “Well none. But I was at the store for two and a half years.”  I told her that you don’t just get promotions based on how long you’ve been somewhere.  I tried to break it down even more.  I asked, “Well what kind of things did you try to captain?  Like what additional responsibilities did you take on at your old job that would qualify you to move into a Leadership role?”  Her response was even better this time, “Well, when I was working I would always tell people to keep busy.  Like tell them to clean and stock products and stuff.”  I almost died.  I just looked at her and said, “If you think the majority of my job is to sit here and tell you to clean and stock products you are going to be sorely disappointed.  That’s about 5% of my job…. and no one listens anyway.”

I cannot believe she thinks that since she has been working at a store for 2 and a half years she’d just automatically get a promotion.  That level of entitlement is ridiculous.  You have to prove yourself to get where you want in life.  You can’t just skip the line bitch.  You need to work your way to the top.  That’s how that works.  Honestly the amount of people we have working under us that think leads “Just walk around the store” all day or that I, “Just sit in the back all day” is astounding.  More than once associates have actually said, “Well you aren’t doing anything.” or “You just walk around the store.”  It is ridiculous.

So not only is my new employee entitled beyond belief she also has that lovely Millennial trait of passing the blame.  Nothing is EVER her fault.  It’s always someone else’s fault or the fault of something else.  I have two amazing examples of this.

First example: Said employee was working working working.  Not paying attention.  All of the sudden she asks me what time it is.  I say my usual, “time to get a watch.” then I let her know it’s like 12:30pm.  SHE FLIPS OUT.  Like batshit crazy flips out.  Starts freaking out because she has “CLASS AT 1PM!”  She tells me that her school is an hour away (just so you know it takes about 30 minutes to get there….) and she’s just so pissed she’s going to be late.  I actually had to tell her that when I was in college there were days that I missed because I was sick.  Or I overslept and went to class late.  It happens.  I told her that contrary to what she thinks, if she shows up late to class… she can still pass!  I know it’s a crazy idea.  So to make things even better as she’s freaking out she PASSES THE BLAME.  She actually said, “Ugh, not every manager announces the time.  Like most people say “oh it’s 12pm and X is just starting for the day and we’re at X dollar amount for our goal.  If she would have said that I would have realized I needed to leave!”  I was shocked.  I actually had to look at her and say, “Just so you know, it’s not her job to tell you what time it is.”  Are you kidding me?  Again, she isn’t going to be late because SHE wasn’t paying attention.  She’s going to be late because her manager didn’t tell her what time it was.  Yea, okay.  If you know that you are supposed to leave at noon because you have class at 1pm, then wear a fucking watch.  Anyone else watches that clock like a hawk because when they are scheduled to clock out for break or for the day, they are FUCKING ON IT.  Again, it’s not her fault…

The best story of all actually happened today.  So I get in to work at 7am with my favorite Saturday morning person.  Seriously, I love Saturday mornings working with her.  Now Ms. Millennial was also scheduled to work at 7am with us.  To my surprise she wasn’t there waiting (I stroll up at 7am on the dot.  Ms. Millennial likes to get there 20 minutes early and I told her I will never go into that store earlier than I need to…).  But I thought, oh maybe she was scheduled later and I read the schedule wrong.  So I look at the schedule and she was supposed to be there at 7am. I considered this a gift from the heavens above and I just started working and enjoying my time with the coworker that I actually like. Guess who strolls in at 8am?  I open the door and I say, “hey, you know you were supposed to be here at 7 right?”  To which she just looks dumbfounded and says, “Um, no.  I’m supposed to be here at 8 today and 9am tomorrow.  I wrote it down.”  I said, “um you are on the schedule today at 7am.”  She busts out her planner and shows me that she wrote down 8am. “I wrote it down.  I’m a planner.”  Okay b, you’re talking to the person that organizes the whole fucking backroom.  I’m a fucking “planner” too. (also, just so you know NEXT WEEKS SCHEDULE she is here at 8am on Saturday and 9am on Sunday.  Not THIS WEEK).   So I just say, “Whatever.  I just need you to put your stuff away and clock in.”  So I go back to working with my coworker.  As usual the planogram leaves too little room to fit all the products so we’re trying to problem solve that together.  Ms. Millennial walks past where we were working and says to me, “Yea, I would apologize but it’s not my fault.  The schedule is wrong.” I SHIT YOU NOT THAT IS WHAT SHE SAID.

My coworkers jaw just drops to the ground.  I try to find something to throw at the Millennial Heathen.  I cannot believe that.  She seriously thinks that the PRINTED SCHEDULE (that you can also access via an app on your smartphone) is wrong because there is NO WAY she would ever make a mistake and write down the wrong time.  The schedule is printed out and it clearly says 7AM next to her name with today’s date in the box.  You cannot tell me that the schedule is wrong.  How the fuck can the schedule be wrong?  JESUS.  Again, typical Millennial that we all hate.  Never takes responsibility for her actions.  In addition to that mess she also fucked up a bunch of stuff I asked her to do.  But that is for another time.

Lastly, one of the worst Millennial and just general co-worker/employee traits that she carries… is her inability to take any sort of direction.  No matter what she will always push back.  Whether its to me or another lead.  However whenever she gets pissed at what I tell her to do, she goes around and bitches about the “stupid tasks” that I make her do.  The thing that pisses me off is that when I give her a task I tell her WHY I’m making her do it.  So, for example she didn’t want to be on the floor.  So I gave her busy work.  I had her put the tester wands into smaller Ziploc bags.  I told her it’s tedious but we do this because I buy them in bulk and they are expensive.  The zipper on the bag a lot of time breaks and then the wands spill out into the drawer which is dirty.  Or if you are carrying the big bag and the zipper breaks you spill them onto the floor.  You can’t put a dirty wand on your lips or face, so we have to throw them away.  I have told her this THREE TIMES.  So the last time I made her do that task, after I had left for the day she decided to talk shit about me.  Telling other people “I don’t know why she makes me do this.  At MY OLD STORE. blah blah.”  The girl she was bitching to was hilarious and actually said back to her, “Well, Meesa has been here forever so she knows her shit.  I’m sure she has a good reason as to why she instructed you to do that.  We are a bigger store than your old one, so things are run differently here.”  GOD, I LOVE THAT.  She never suggests a new way to do something.  She just acts like the way it was at her old store (which by the way is much smaller and run completely differently) is the only way it should ever be done.  Our store is bigger so things are different.

So, moral of the story here.  You are not entitled to something just because you want it.  You don’t get a promotion just because you’ve been somewhere the longest. You need to earn it.  You also need to take personal responsibility for your actions.  Do not constantly pass the blame.  Believe it or not, sometimes people make mistakes, even I do.  But you need to own up to it.  Again, not all Millennials are like this but hot damn there are way too many.  If I tell you to do something you don’t get to just brush it off.  Don’t be lazy, I am asking you to do your job.  It’s what we fucking pay you to do so you really should have no problems doing what you’re told.  If you want a paycheck that is.

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Support.

One of the biggest complaints of my job is the amount of support I get.  I don’t feel like I am completely unsupported but I feel as though I don’t get adequate support, especially when it comes to little things that should be supported.

So, if there is ever a heavy workload or whatever the case may be, if I need more people my boss supports me and makes it happen.  Whenever corporate fucks something up and we have to rearrange, we figure it out.

There are just little things that irritate me.  So for one, part of my job is counting.  So basically every other week I need to count sections of the store, for inventory replenishment purposes and to see how much shit got stolen. Every single time our Loss Prevention dickbag comes in all I ever hear from my boss is “well we have the coverage so we can count consistently.”  I’m sorry, what coverage?  I have yet to see you give me an extra person in the morning.  It’s like she’ll say whatever it is she needs to say, to make it seem like everything in the store is perfect.  I mean hey, why would you ever throw me a  bone and be like “oh well it’s very workload heavy, let’s get an extra person in here on Thursdays so we can do that.”  NOPE, throw my ass under the bus saying we’ve always had the coverage it’s just clearly my fault that we aren’t counting.  What do you want done?  New products out on the floor and old products sent back… or for me to scan fucking lipsticks?  Can’t have both.

I feel like she never hesitates to throw anyone under the bus.  It’s always excuses.  Everything has a fucking excuse (oh unless it involves me, I never get excuses for my angsty attitude) attached to it.  Someone said hurtful, mean things that were completely inappropriate to another person and her actual words were “I’m sure it wasn’t coming from a bad place.”  Really?  When you put someone down I’m not sure what kind of fucking place it’s coming from if it isn’t a bad place.

Just the other day I found out that one of my coworkers got in trouble because I left clear direction and she followed it.  Please note that this direction was handed down to me FROM CORPORATE.  I even linked it back to the specific piece of fucking information listed on the intranet as to HOW to schedule these things.  Well someone got butt-hurt and went to the district manager saying we weren’t being supportive of their brand. We were then instructed to disregard what corporate said.  So instead of my boss sticking up for me (and my coworker that followed my direction) saying, “I understand and we can definitely go ahead and break these rules but this was the direction we were given so this is why we did this.”  She ended up saying, “Oh well X used to book these and X is on maternity leave and I’m sure she was more lenient with it.”  THANKS YOU FUCKING BITCH.  How is that supposed to make me feel?   You sit there and come up with excuses for someone who said completely disrespectful and in appropriate things… but the second I do something COMPLETELY CORRECTLY AS DETERMINED BY THE CORPORATE OFFICES, you throw me under the bus by saying it’s because “someone else normally schedules this stuff so they probably did it differently.”

Something SO LITTLE means so much.  This is what I deal with.  ZERO support.  When she talked to me about it she was like “Schedule as many days as they want.” I challenged her and said, “NO, there was an announcement that said this is how we schedule, only for the next last two months of the year as it is holiday time.” She said, “Well I’m not getting yelled at again so just do it.”  Really, don’t stick up for your team because you don’t want to be “yelled at.”  So in response I yelled at her, “Well if we’re just supposed to disregard corporate direction for things THEN WHY THE FUCK DO THEY SEND OUT THESE STUPID BULLETINS SAYING, ‘THIS IS HOW YOU NEED TO DO THIS.’?”

I’m so tired of getting direction on how to do things or how to proceed with something only to get bitched at and then have someone say, “OH well don’t do what they told you to do. Don’t be so black and white about it, be grey with it.”  If we are just allowed to do whatever the fuck we want, whenever we want they why does the company give a shit and make these guidelines?

Furthermore why is it so hard to just back up your employees?  Shit like this happens all the time at the cash registers too.  You’ll make a decision to FOLLOW POLICY, someone will complain and then she’ll go up there and just do whatever the person wants.  Not only does it make someone feel like shit it’s pretty much like you’re saying, “Oh yea we can do that for you.  This person was just a giant bitch and didn’t want to help you but since you are complaining and I’d rather not have you fill out a bad survey so that my district manager yells at me. Oh here’s a bunch of free money because obviously I hire idiots.”

Perhaps if you treated your employees the way you treated your customers they just might be more willing to help out and treat your customers better.

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My Views on Current Events…and stuff.

I have a fair amount of “friends” on Facebook and such that are moms.  Most of them are normal moms that post photos of the fam and kids and all that.  Then I have some that are SUPER extreme.  Having to document every goddamn stage of their pregnancy.  Asking questions about their symptoms as facebook status updates and then the ones who have to post articles about different things and state their (usually) unpopular opinion.  Normally I just tend to just scroll past these people or just click that button that makes sure I don’t see their shit in my news feed.

I’m not sure why but a couple of things have been bothering me (although not necessarily aimed at mommy posts).  It’s just those few memes or whatever that you’ve been seeing in your news feed and you really just wanna lay into the person.

Anti-Vaxxers.  Science people.  SCIENCE.  Look, I’m not a doctor.  I don’t claim to be one.  But I can tell you this… when I was a kid there was never a risk of me getting goddamn MEASLES or MUMPS or POLIO because before I received my vaccination I was safe because of a little thing called “herd immunity.”  If you don’t know what that is, let me break it down for you quick. Herd Immunity basically means that everyone is generally immune to these contagious diseases because there is a high number of people are already immune to it/have received the vaccination for it.   Listen, Measles was pretty much freaking eradicated when I was a kid because everyone got the vaccine for it.  So I wasn’t at risk when I was between the ages of 1 day old and 6 months old when I was too young to receive the vaccine.  Why the hell do you think these contagious diseases have come back?  Because herd immunity does not exist because of this Anti-Vaxxer movement.  What is upsetting is that you’ve decided that since you graduated from the University of Google  with your medical degree that you aren’t going to vaccinate your child.  So other people’s small children that are too young to receive the vaccine, actually get said contagious disease because you’re pretty much an asshole.  Furthermore what upsets me the most is that you would rather run the risk of having your child (or someone else’s child) die from previously eradicated diseases like MUMPS than potentially (POTENTIALLY) have an “autistic” child.  That’s your excuse.  You don’t want your child to develop AUTISM (something that you can live with just fine and won’t kill you) so you won’t vaccinate them… and you could potentially kill another persons child or your own.  Thumbs up to you!  Also, the Autism thing has been proven to be a crock of shit.  Please vaccinate your spawn.

“If you’re not a mom you don’t [insert bullshit here].”  Recently I’ve seen more than one person post a meme with someone laughing their ass off.  The caption reads, “When people without kids tell me they’re tired.”  I’m sorry, what’s that?  I have no idea what it means to be tired because I haven’t had my own crotchfruit to take care of?  Look, go fuck yourself.  You don’t have to have a kid to understand what burnout, tiredness or overwhelming stress is.  Just because I’m not chasing around demonspawn doesn’t mean that I don’t work my ASS off 6 – 7 days a week 65+ hours a week.  I don’t care what you say someone who works 6 days a week, 65+ hours a week DOES know what it means to be tired.  I am tired, all the time and you can kiss my fat ass if you think I don’t know what burnout is because I don’t have to chase a little bastard child around.  Is chasing little kids around and caring for them tiring?  I’m sure it is.  But don’t sit there and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about because I decided not to reproduce.  I work my ass off, I’m allowed to be tired and stressed out too.

“All Lives Matter/Blue Lives Matter” supporters. Please just stop.  All lives DO matter, however the lives in jeopardy right now are BLACK LIVES.  That is what the movement is about.  Being white myself, learning about the BLM movement was one of the hardest, most uncomfortable things I’ve ever done.  The thing is, white people don’t LIKE to be uncomfortable.  Which is why they get all butt-hurt about the misunderstanding about what the BLM movement is about.  In order to understand this you have to remove yourself from your comfort zone and look at things from a different perspective.  Being white is considered “normal” so imagine how brown people feel.  Everything is catered towards being white, so if you’re black you have to grow up in a world where you “aren’t normal.”  I know that it’s hard to comprehend, believe me I know.  Growing up white (even though I’m technically not white.  But I look white therefore I reap the benefits whether I want them or not) is easy.  But you have to realize that you benefit from looking white and then you need to start researching systematic racism.  Just start there.  Remember OPEN MIND.

Everyone is so quick to start burning Colin Kaepernick’s jersey when he decided to kneel during the national anthem.  Did any of those people that were SO PISSED burn cop uniforms when Philando Castile was gunned down?  When Trayvon Martin was shot for wearing a fucking hoodie? Or just recently the other day when some woman cop got “scared” and shot Terence Crutcher? The dashcam video and the pure HATRED spewed from the helicopter audio makes me sick.  Oh, not buring cop uniforms are you?  Not OUTRAGED that a father was gunned down for NOTHING. I didn’t think so.   You want to live in a place where you’re forced to stand during the national anthem?  Get your ass over to North Korea.  I’m tired of seeing those memes of injured soldiers in wheelchairs with captions about “you feel oppressed so I’ll stand for you too.” Fuck you dude.  Those people fought for FREEDOM. This includes the freedom to PROTEST.  You don’t have to agree with Kaepernick and that is irrelevant anyway.  Everyone should support his right to protest. He isn’t hurting anyone for Christ’s sake.  Also, since when does the fucking government make “patriotism” mandatory?  Are we Nazi’s now?  Forcing patriotism?  Lastly, I also really loved all of the memes giving Kaepernick shit because he was raised by wealthy white parents.  I’ll tell you this, you don’t have to be the “oppressed” to take a stand.  I’m not oppressed in any way (well other than being a woman, but I’m still white) but I fucking salute the BLM movement.  Nothing gets fixed if you stay quiet.

Lastly the $15 minimum wage thing.  Okay, I get it.  Trust me, for a long time I was a fucking LEAD at a retailer and was making $12.75/hr.  Was it livable?  Yes, but only thanks to credit cards.  So I understand that every person needs to make a living wage that is working a solid 40 hours.  However, the problem with this is that it was only (at least here in Minnesota) going to take place for MINNEAPOLIS businesses.  So what about surrounding cities?  Oh, you work in St. Paul?  Sucks to be you.  You work in Bloomington? Nope, min wage is still $9.50.

I also think we need to look at places that have already had the minimum wage increase happen over the last couple of years.  Namely Seattle.  It’s not all rainbows and butterflies out there.  There’s plenty of unemployment because there are fewer jobs.  I’m not trying to be an asshole about it but it’s true.  You can’t have cheap fucking goods and pay people $15/hr to throw it in a bag and ask you to open a credit card.  I think the real thing we need to look at here is the housing situation.  Instead of making the minimum wage $15 why can’t you find affordable housing?  Why is a fucking studio apartment in Minneapolis $750/month?  You don’t even get a goddamn bedroom!  A 1 bedroom is $945 and a two bedroom is about $1300.  How about you make HOUSING affordable?  This way you can pay people adequate amounts of money based on their job and the skills and degrees/schooling it requires.  Minnesota has raised the minimum wage from $8/hr to $9.50 in the last two years which is a step in the right direction.  Does it need to go up more?  Yes.  To $15?  No. We really need to look at having affordable housing and childcare options. You should not have to pay someone $25/hr to watch your damn crotchfruit either.  That’s a whole ‘nother post I’ll have to brew up.

Alright, until next time.

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Who’s your boss?

Ah, retail.  I know it’s almost like beating a dead horse.  My job kinda sucks.

Okay, not really.  I really do like my job.  Have you ever heard that people don’t leave jobs, they leave managers?  Meaning they don’t leave because they hate the company they’re working for (although not always true.  Part of the reason I left Target was because the company was moving in a direction I didn’t agree with.  PART of the reason) they leave because of their manager.  Well that shit is starting to ring more and more true each day I work.

Part of my problem is that I tend to bottle up my emotions.  I have that hard outer shell but people who know me, really know me, have actually seen that soft center that I try to hide.  Don’t get me wrong I keep putting up that wall brick by brick but sometimes sneaky people that I care about are able to sneak through the cracks.  I’ve always done this to myself since I can remember.  I just let my anger and frustrations and sadness build and build until finally the cap on that bottle just fly’s off and the whole fucking bottle explodes and shatters into a thousand pieces.

This exact thing happened to me yesterday.  I had a crappy week and it seemed like anything that could go wrong did go wrong for the rest of the day.  I remember the final straw was that a whole basket full of product for the floor went “missing” and no one knew what happened to it (we did find it).  All of the sudden the bottle I kept all my emotions in fucking exploded.  I was FLOODED with emotion and I had no idea how to handle it (you know, since I refuse to deal with feelings by bottling them up all the time).  I didn’t know if I wanted to cry, punch someone in the face, scream at the top of my lungs, set the store on fire or just crawl into a hole and patiently wait to die.  To be honest setting the store on fire was winning my vote until I decided that I was done with people and I crawled into my apartment and just stayed there until I had to work today.

There is a whole lot of other stuff that mixed into that whole emotion bubble but that is for a later time.

Let’s talk about how shitty retail is.  So my boss had this regional conference or something.  Anyway, they always have some stupid message they bring back (seriously I can’t believe they pay people to come up with the shit they do).  Apparently MY JOB is something the company knows is “broken” and they are working to fix all the stuff (it’s been 5 years, we’ll see…).  HOWEVER, the icing on the cake is that now my boss is going around asking people, “Who is your boss?”  Of course everyone is confused.  Most people mention the lead of their world.  Then she’ll say something like, “No. Who is your boss?”  Then, even more confused they’ll look at her and say, “You?”  And then she’ll laugh and say, “NO, the customer is your boss! hahahahahahahahaha lololz”  Everyone is mortified to say the least.

She mentioned this in our lead meeting and I think I was the only one who actually laughed when she said, “The customer is your boss.”  Don’t worry, I did it under my breath so I think maybe one person realized I laughed.  I cannot believe someone came up with that idea.  Because our customers are not entitled enough, lets pretend they are our “bosses.”  Like, I get the idea but I think the word you are looking for is “priority” not “boss.”  Until those dickbag customers are signing my paychecks, they can kiss my ass.  So when a customer says something stupid like, “Oh, I know I paid for this with a store credit but I want cash back and I’m going to keep most of the stuff in the kit anyway.” are we just supposed to go with it?  I mean they are the “boss” right?  That is just an extreme example but c’mon, give me a break.

Honestly as far as I’m concerned I am my own boss.  I cram 60+ hours of work into about 36 or 38 hours and my boss doesn’t even really know what I do let alone the CUSTOMER.  As mentioned in previous posts, for a lengthy amount of time my boss actually thought I did nothing but sit in the backroom and chat with people for the entirety of my work week.  It’s super easy getting 60+ hours of work done in 36 hours so DUH, I’m obviously just drinking coffee , shopping on amazon and catching up on Netflix shows back there.

At what point is enough, enough? I like my job but it’s getting to the point where it doesn’t make me happy anymore.  I air my grievances through the proper channels however the one person that can do ANYTHING about it, doesn’t.  Half the time she fails to see that anything is wrong.  I can’t keep forcing myself to be unhappy because I like the work I do.  It isn’t even about money anymore.  I honestly think I’d be happier living under a goddamn bridge in a box because it would be less stressful at this point.  It’s kind of a tough place to be at.  Miserable enough to want out but not miserable enough to actually peace out.

I seriously have 2 full days off next week.  I’m hoping that it can provide some clarity in this foggy situation.

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Resurrection

It’s time to resurrect this beautiful masterpiece.  It’s been tough as I had been working 7 days a week for about 9 months, so making time for me was becoming harder and harder.  The last thing I wanted to do after work was sit down and try to write.  I just wanted to lay my head on a pillow and rest.

Enough of that.  Now that I’m back, lets talk about personal responsibility.

This actually just happened to me.  I was snoozing on the couch, trying to rid my body of this food poisoning that I contracted early yesterday morning and I hear a loud noise.  A “bang” if you will, right outside my door.  I’m like, hmm, that’s odd.  So I wander over to my door and open it, expecting to see my car smashed into oblivion.  Hmm, car is still in the same spot.  She looks okay… Then I look on the ground in front of my car.  Hmm, there’s a little reflective orange piece that looks EXACTLY like the thing that is underneath my headlight on the passenger’s side of my car that I can see.  I put on my shoes go around to the driver’s side of the front of my car.  Oh, well would you look at that?  Someone damn near tried to rip my bumper off with their car.

Thanks for continuing to speed away you piece of shit. Of course there was NO ONE outside at the time (god forbid there be a witness).  And just like that $500 is about to come out of my bank account for a new bumper. *Sigh*

Here’s the thing.  I’m sure it was an accident.  It happens.  However, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS.  If you hit someone’s parked car, you leave a note with your information on it. You don’t just keep driving like nothing fucking happened.  Own up. You accidentally hit my car, it’s okay, things like that happen… but you need to be an adult and take responsibility for it.  It’s weird but I’m not mad that it happened, I am mad that this person decided to just leave and act like nothing happened.

The funny thing is that when I was shopping at the mall the other day I was walking back to my car in the parking lot.  I saw this car with this girl in the driver’s seat and she had her hands on her head. She wasn’t quite into the parking spot all the way.  From where I was I could see that she just made the turn too sharply and hit the car next to her (which was right next to mine).  These stupid ass teenagers get out of the car, check the damage to their car and then check the damage to the other car and walk away.  Just walk into the mall to shop.  Being the nice person I am I grab a security officer and we take down all the information in case the person whose car was hit wanted to take care of it.  I told the security lady that both of the cars I’ve owned have been hit by someone who left while it was parked somewhere, multiple times.  It sucks and if I could help someone not have to deal with that shit, I would definitely do what I could.  Hence summoning her for help.

Oh yes, did I mention that something very similar happened to me at the beginning of June?  I was about 75% backed out of my parking spot at work and someone came flying around the corner and hit the back of my car. I gave the woman my information (she requested it like it was my goddamn fault) and then I told her I’d grab my phone in my car so I could snap a photo of her insurance card.  I go to grab my phone… and she drives away.

Again, PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.  Take responsibility for your actions.  It goes even further than shit like car accidents.  I feel like there are so many people who refuse to take responsibility for anything from mistakes at their job or even home life and relationships.  It’s no wonder people hit cars on the side of the road and keep driving.  If you can’t even own up to a mistake at your job, what makes anyone think you’d do the right thing and own up to hitting another person’s piece of property on the side of the road?

I can’t even go to work without someone doing something like lying to cover up what they’ve done.  At work I have this awesome reputation for being hilarious yet terrifying.  It’s something my boss says I have to “work on.” What my boss doesn’t understand is that I don’t get angry when people do things wrong.  I get frustrated (especially when I’ve told them MULTIPLE TIMES) how to NOT do something wrong.  I get angry when I find out they’ve LIED to me about what they did.  TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT.  Never once have I fucked up and then lied about it.  I’ve fucked up before.  But I own it and come up with a solution to fix it.

I have watched people on camera do shit they told me to my face that they didn’t do.  So yea, that makes me angry.  If I tell you, “Hey, someone keeps doing “x” we aren’t supposed to do that because “xyz” do you know who is doing that so I can talk to them?”  Then you say “Hmm, nope.  Oh, but it’s not me!”  Then I go to view the cameras from that day to see who did what I asked them not to do… and see that it’s you?  FUCK YOU.  I’m glad you have such respect for me as a manager that you’d lie to my face because you don’t want to be told what to do.  A simple, “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know we weren’t allowed to do “x” because of “xyz”  I will remember that from now on” would be an appropriate response and also let you OWN UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

Can you really even trust anyone anymore?  Own up kids.  Own up.

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