Start Over.

Well it’s a new year. I’m generally not a “new year new me” type of person.  I tend not to make resolutions because I won’t follow through.  Rather I set goals for myself.  I’ll think of something I want to achieve and give myself a year to do it.  I also don’t like to have specific limits.  So for example instead of “I want to lose 20 lbs” a more realistic goal would be “I’d like to make healthier choices.”  This way if I want to have a damn slice of pizza, I can have a slice of pizza.  As long as I make healthier choices overall.

This year I’ve decided to make it all about me.  I want to be happy so I need to carve out time for myself.  I want to feel better and have more energy so I’ve decided to do a couple of things:

  1. I want to start exercising more consistently.  I have never felt like shit after the gym or a workout.  EVER. In fact it makes me feel better and more energized.  I want to start exercising at the gym a minimum for 3-4 days a week.  Eventually I’d like to make 5-6 days standard but I also don’t want to start too big.  I want this to be achievable.  It is going to be tough because right now all the annoying “Resolutioners” are going to be hogging up the equipment at the gym.  I am going to be strategic about planning it. I am going to try taking advantage of my late start on Tuesdays and gyming it beforehand. 2pm is not going to be a busy time on a Tuesday.  Also it would be ideal to get in a workout on Saturday and Sunday after work around 4 or 5pm.  The gym is usually dead during the weekends because everyone is out and about.  Here’s to hoping. Once May hits I’ll be able to exercise constantly at the lake by my house.
  2. I am cutting dairy out of my diet again.  I participated in the Vegan Challenge for the month of December.  Unfortunately I was not able to go completely Vegan the whole month because of the holiday.  Before I decided to do the challenge I accepted an invitation to Christmas dinner at my friend’s place and her mother was thoughtful enough to make me vegetarian things to eat.  I’m not a dick so I was not going to ask her to make me vegan food nor was I going to be a bitch and only eat bread without butter and a salad.  I was strictly vegan for 19 days and then slowly integrated one small dairy item into my diet each day (because I did not want to feel like crap in my friends mothers bathroom all night).  The first day I had a small dairy item I felt like garbage.  Just in general getting all that dairy out of my diet made me feel better, physically and morally.
  3. No more picking up shifts to work on my days/weekends off.  I don’t have many days off.  I have each Wednesday off from both jobs (once a month I have to go into my FT job on a Wednesday night to do a store reset) and once a month I have a full Saturday off.  I am using that time to treat myself.  I will be doing things I like to do on those days.  They will be reserved for blogging, grocery shopping and meal prep and actual relaxation time.  Occasionally I can also use that time to do things with friends!
  4. I will blog more consistently.  I enjoy writing about a lot of things.  So I am going to set aside time to do this.  Ideally it will be once a week on my day off.  I don’t have to finish the blog post but at least take time out to write.  Perhaps I’ll start dropping shorter posts so that I can post something once a week minimum.
  5. I need to find a non-retail related job.  My FT job is no longer fun.  I have a few co-workers that make it worth being there but honestly I need to be happy.  There is nowhere for me to go with that company anymore.  I am not going to be an Inventory Manager for the rest of my life. Doing the same things I’ve been doing the last 5 years forever.  I need a better environment to work in where I feel valued and important and have the opportunity to to grow with the company.  I need consistent hours that aren’t crappy.  I’m tired of working holidays like Thanksgiving.  Working until 1 or 2 in the morning doing store re-sets and putting way the weekly shipment.  I am the ONLY one that works those bullshit shifts.  I also don’t want anyone else to take those shifts because it ends up being done wrong and just creates more work for me to do later.  It’s just easier for me to take the bullshit shifts.  Ideally I’d like to have a M-Fri 8 – 5 job.  Weekends and holidays off.  I’ve never in my life had that before so I’m curious to know.  I think the stability of having a very consistent schedule where I’m not working until 1am and then having a day off and then coming in at 6 or 7am could make having my hobbies easier.  I would have a consistent time to go the gym and run errands and could make it a routine. My body would get used to going to sleep and waking up at the same time.  I would have a more concrete and organized day.
  6. Lastly I need to make healthier choices.  I’ve become depressed and lazy recently.  Because of this I haven’t been exercising and my eating habits are crap.  It’s easier to order delivery and eat pizza or Chinese or Thai.  I don’t feel like making food because I’m exhausted, miserable and frustrated so I have something delivered and eat oreos after because, hey, oreos are vegan!  I want to make meal prep my thing again.  I need to eat better because in turn the rest of the things I want to accomplish will all follow suit if I can get my dietary habits under control.

Those are the things I want to take hold of this year.  I think by changing some bad habits and making it all about ME I can actually be happy.  Some of these things are going to be hard and scary.  But knowing when you need to push the reset button and start over is the first step.  Starting over is scary but sometimes you find that you’ve continued too far down the wrong path and you have to rewind. However if you have already gone too far the best step is to just Start Over. I’m not giving up.



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