A series of unfortunate events.

I haven’t written for a while.  Life got real.  Shit got in the way.  Friends happened.  You know how that goes.

It’s also holiday and I work retail.  Save (what is left of) my poor black soul.  Anyway, I didn’t have anything that I really had an itch to write about but over the last couple days I just feel like I need to record what happened because it’s THAT FUCKING CRAZY.  I have been sick so excuse my jumbled brain, I’ll try to make this bearable.

I caught the deathflu.  I don’t always get sick (I was very sickly in my college years so I pretty much caught every form of a cold back then, I have quite the immunity now) but usually when I do, it’s pretty bad. My colds are always the same, I kind of get this feeling in my throat and that’s when I know I will wake up the next morning with full on birdflu. I generally feel like crap for a day or two and then start to get better.  This kind of hit me out of nowhere though because the weather had been so up and down this fall my allergies were not very pleased.  So I had been having that “feeling” in my throat for damn near a month.

This shit hit me when I least expected it. I was moving crazy slow at work on Tuesday and then I just knew.  I knew on Wednesday it was going to be bad news.  Sure as shit I woke up Wednesday feeling like absolute garbage.  I was able to take some dayquil and managed to get my drippy nose and my watering eyes under control for my wax job.  Afterwards I headed to my retail job.  It was a horrid 3 hour set up for Black Friday.  I felt like garbage and my freaking boss was continually asking me what was wrong.  What do you think is wrong man?  I sound like a guy and my nose is dripping all over the fucking place.  Doesn’t seem like a good time, but I’m still here because I have to be.

Thursday was uneventful.  The first time I had Thanksgiving Day off in 4 years and I was sicker than hell for it.  It was my only day off this week so I decided that I am not too sick to make some food.  I bought all this food to be a glutton so, I made it.  Sadly, I couldn’t really taste it.  I figured I would be able to taste the leftovers as that is my meal prep for the week.  After cooking for a solid 3 hours I was freaking exhausted.  I ate a little bit although I really couldn’t taste much and then I slept.  Oh man did I sleep.  I slept for about 6 hours and then woke up hungry (good sign right!?) so I had a little of my leftovers (some casserole, mashed potatoes and a dinner roll) and then hit the sack again, because I needed to work on Black Friday at 5am.

I woke up even worse.  I anger cried a little bit because any time I’m sick, I’m not allowed to be sick.  People call in for the stupidest shit and then I come in looking like Death Becomes Her and my boss thinks I’m “not really that sick.”  You guys, I was SO SICK that my eyelids were swollen.  You read that right.  My fucking face was swollen.  And I still dragged my ass out of my house, could barely see to drive and I opened that god forsaken store for Black Friday.

I looked like absolute shit but I managed to work for about 5 hours.  As soon as I got into the store my boss was scheduled to be in like an hour later.  I sent her a text right away and told her that I am still very sick, I may have a fever and my face is swollen so I cannot wear makeup.  She replied, “Oh, I’m sorry.”  I wish you could see my snapchats because I had to document that shit somehow.  MY GODDAMN EYES WERE SWOLLEN DAMN NEAR SHUT.

It just kills me.  I am never allowed to be sick.  Then when I show up to work looking like the grim fucking reaper my boss still doesn’t see it.  She half assedly asked me if I wanted to go.  I told her I would stay because Ms. Millennial overslept so we were down someone right at open.  They needed me.  People call in for the sniffles all the time.  I always show up.  I’ve worked with food poisoning (twice), I’ve worked when I was so sick I actually lost my voice and could not speak and I came in with my eyelids so swollen I could barely see.  BUT hey, I don’t need to rest and take medicine, I’m fucking HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE.

So the real icing on the cake was today at work.  I got in and my boss asks me if I’m feeling better.  I told her I am better than yesterday by far but still you know, getting over the cold.  I’m onto the coughing stages now.  So flash forward an hour.  The guy that opened with me yesterday, who saw my eyes first and wondered how I was still alive was asking me how I was feeling today.  Boss is nearby as well.  I told him I’m feeling better but I’m still just really tired.  Then… Then.  My boss actually says, “You have no reason to be tired.  You just slept for the last two days.”

ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL?  I swear sometimes she doesn’t think about the words that come out of her mouth.  At least I hope she doesn’t think because that shit is uncalled for.  My body is working double time because NO, I haven’t just been sleeping the last 2 days.  I had ONE day to sleep.  Thanksgiving.  I still worked for 8 hours on Wednesday and 5 hours on Friday.  I am thankful my wax job boss called me off Friday because I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to swing that.  With barely being able to open my eyes to see.  Also I’m not sure if my boss realizes this but when you rest during your sickness you aren’t just relaxing.  Your body is still fighting off a virus.  This is not easy and depletes your energy which is why you’re tired.  Like, why would I need to explain that to you?  I have every reason to be tired because for the last 4 fucking days my body has been fighting a cold to heal itself.  One fucking day to sleep is not going to magically make you better.  She acts like I had 2 days off to just watch fucking Netflix and eat pie.  Negative.  I have 1 and a half days to chug cough syrup and drink orange juice and try to eat soup when  was finally hungry again.

Everyone else took one look at me on Friday and asked why the hell I was at the store but my boss failed to see it.  I feel incredibly undervalued as an employee and then this is the kind of treatment I receive.  Doesn’t make me feel any better.  I bust my tail all the time and then when I really need to let my body rest and heal itself… I’m questioned on how sick I actually am.

*sigh*  I’m thankful I’m feeling better finally.  I do not have any more time to waste.

Also, the food I made for Thanksgiving tastes great!  I’m super proud of my homemade vegetarian mushroom gravy!  It’s super flavorful and unlike the “mushroom gravy” you can buy (in a jar or a powder mix) it doesn’t contain beef stock!  I win!